I am very confused as to why someone would ask for your phone number and then never use it. There have been a few occasions when I've actually met some very nice guys with whom I've had sparkling conversations, they seem interested and so was I, then comes the "So can I call you some time" bit. To which I respond "Yes. I'd like that". Inevitably the phone call never comes...
On the other hand, when I've met someone and I'm lukewarm about them and I figure "What the hell" and I give my phone number...they inevitably ALWAYS call!
Oh the irony! When will this dating life of mine ever make sense?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Mr. Match
So I tried it, but wasn't really too excited about being broadcasted on Match.com so I closed my account, not before emailing my one interest and giving him my phone number. The next day I receive a text message...what is it with guys and texting!! I'm not so opposed to it, and I know it's nerve-wracking calling a girl, etc. etc but I do think it's easier to hide behind a text than to pick up the phone and have a good old fashioned phone call.
Anyway after all is said and done we arrange to have dinner at Panya Thai, touted as one of the best Thai Restaurants in the area. Again, I've never been and was very pleasantly surprised. It's location is not what I would call ideal, but I was definitely pleasantly surprised when I walked in. The decor is nice, dark woods, art, etc. I was also pleasantly surprised by my date. Of course I'd seen a picture, but this was our first meeting and I was a little apprehensive, having never done anything like this before.
The conversation was so easy it was refreshing. He suggested the restaurant and said it was one of his favorites, I happen to love Thai food and we went with his suggestion of a shared Papaya salad for starters. I love spicy food and we decided on the Medium heat level for the salad...boy oh boy!
An easy breezy conversation turned to a sweat session once the salad arrived. I usually order the medium spicy level when eating Thai but this was too much! I was slightly embarrassed and had to excuse myself to the ladies room to get the perspiration and heat in my mouth under control.
After this everything else was smooth sailing. The food was Excellent! (I had Beef Masaman Curry, he had Chicken Pad Tahi - a boring selection, but I'm not judging) I love the fact that this is not your typical Thai/Sushi restaurant (which is a pet peeve of mine)...they focus on Thai cuisine and in my opinion they do an excellent job, I've never been to Thailand, so I can't comment on authenticity, but it's not quite the run of the mill Thai menu that some restaurants serve up. I can't wait to go back and try more of the menu.
So back to the date. Our dinner lasted almost 3 hours, I guess you can draw your own conclusions :) We covered the usual conversation points such as work, hobbies, movies, family, etc. All in all despite my Match.com hesitation of meeting this person online, never seeing him in person and meeting 'blindly' after only a few email and phone exchanges, I would say this was a very successful first date, and very yummy too!
Anyway after all is said and done we arrange to have dinner at Panya Thai, touted as one of the best Thai Restaurants in the area. Again, I've never been and was very pleasantly surprised. It's location is not what I would call ideal, but I was definitely pleasantly surprised when I walked in. The decor is nice, dark woods, art, etc. I was also pleasantly surprised by my date. Of course I'd seen a picture, but this was our first meeting and I was a little apprehensive, having never done anything like this before.
The conversation was so easy it was refreshing. He suggested the restaurant and said it was one of his favorites, I happen to love Thai food and we went with his suggestion of a shared Papaya salad for starters. I love spicy food and we decided on the Medium heat level for the salad...boy oh boy!
An easy breezy conversation turned to a sweat session once the salad arrived. I usually order the medium spicy level when eating Thai but this was too much! I was slightly embarrassed and had to excuse myself to the ladies room to get the perspiration and heat in my mouth under control. After this everything else was smooth sailing. The food was Excellent! (I had Beef Masaman Curry, he had Chicken Pad Tahi - a boring selection, but I'm not judging) I love the fact that this is not your typical Thai/Sushi restaurant (which is a pet peeve of mine)...they focus on Thai cuisine and in my opinion they do an excellent job, I've never been to Thailand, so I can't comment on authenticity, but it's not quite the run of the mill Thai menu that some restaurants serve up. I can't wait to go back and try more of the menu.
So back to the date. Our dinner lasted almost 3 hours, I guess you can draw your own conclusions :) We covered the usual conversation points such as work, hobbies, movies, family, etc. All in all despite my Match.com hesitation of meeting this person online, never seeing him in person and meeting 'blindly' after only a few email and phone exchanges, I would say this was a very successful first date, and very yummy too!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
30 things I wish I knew about dating when I was 21
I'm still having a hard time following this advice today, putting it in writing is a good way to cultivate these good habits...
1. Sometimes what you think is love is really loving the moment and the way this person makes you feel [for the moment].
2. Before marriage men really talk a big game about marriage, turn a deaf ear.
3. Know who you are, and what you want, the rest will come to you.
4. "Don't go for second best baby, put your love to the test" Madonna.
5. You can't fix him. Never stay with someone hoping they'll change. You can only change you.
6. Stop giving in hopes of getting.
7. Don't force chemistry.
8. Be single and enjoy it.
9. Not every boyfriend is marriage material.
10. Giving too much of yourself, gifts, favors, etc. makes you seem needy. Even if it's just your nature, give too much to your friends not to him, it cultivates baaad habits.
11. Expectations will always lead to disappointment.
12. Know your standards, but be realistic. Stick to your guns.
13. If you feel a crazy outburst coming on or the need to talk endlessly about a topic, breathe and walk away.
14. Never hit a man, if it's okay for you to resort to physical violence then it's not okay for him.
15. If your confused about the relationship, leave...
16. Do not make idle threats.
17. If you ask a question, know beforehand that the answer you get may not be the one you want and prepare for it.
18. Don't give in to societal pressures and labels, if a man can have sex just because he wants to, then so can you.
19. Always listen to your gut (sometimes its a really really really hard thing to do).
20. Be strong, don't give in to your weaknesses.
21. Know that everything will work itself on in the end.
22. Don't be with a pot-head.
23. Have your own hobbies, spend time apart with your own friends.
24. You may think opposites attract...but not for long. You must have core similarities.
25. Don't pay too much attention to what other people think, but sometimes you do have to listen if everyone is saying the same thing.
26. Money does matter in a relationship. But potential and drive should matter more.
27. Know the meaning of compromise...it has to be mutual.
28. You'll know from the first kiss.
29. Don't be scared of being alone/lonely.
30. There are more women than there are men, so if things never work out in love, it's just a numbers game!
1. Sometimes what you think is love is really loving the moment and the way this person makes you feel [for the moment].
2. Before marriage men really talk a big game about marriage, turn a deaf ear.
3. Know who you are, and what you want, the rest will come to you.
4. "Don't go for second best baby, put your love to the test" Madonna.
5. You can't fix him. Never stay with someone hoping they'll change. You can only change you.
6. Stop giving in hopes of getting.
7. Don't force chemistry.
8. Be single and enjoy it.
9. Not every boyfriend is marriage material.
10. Giving too much of yourself, gifts, favors, etc. makes you seem needy. Even if it's just your nature, give too much to your friends not to him, it cultivates baaad habits.
11. Expectations will always lead to disappointment.
12. Know your standards, but be realistic. Stick to your guns.
13. If you feel a crazy outburst coming on or the need to talk endlessly about a topic, breathe and walk away.
14. Never hit a man, if it's okay for you to resort to physical violence then it's not okay for him.
15. If your confused about the relationship, leave...
16. Do not make idle threats.
17. If you ask a question, know beforehand that the answer you get may not be the one you want and prepare for it.
18. Don't give in to societal pressures and labels, if a man can have sex just because he wants to, then so can you.
19. Always listen to your gut (sometimes its a really really really hard thing to do).
20. Be strong, don't give in to your weaknesses.
21. Know that everything will work itself on in the end.
22. Don't be with a pot-head.
23. Have your own hobbies, spend time apart with your own friends.
24. You may think opposites attract...but not for long. You must have core similarities.
25. Don't pay too much attention to what other people think, but sometimes you do have to listen if everyone is saying the same thing.
26. Money does matter in a relationship. But potential and drive should matter more.
27. Know the meaning of compromise...it has to be mutual.
28. You'll know from the first kiss.
29. Don't be scared of being alone/lonely.
30. There are more women than there are men, so if things never work out in love, it's just a numbers game!
And so it goes...
Old Friend...
He took me to a wine bar, it was cosy and the first time I'd been there - loved it! The staff was very helpful, suggesting wines and pairings. We sampled some really great wines, nibbled on some phenomenal cheeses, had some pleasant conversation and then homeward bound. While chatting I divulged my hesitations in going out with him, he saw my point...all in all I don't think I'm going to pursue this any further. We had a nice time, I was wined and dined (literally), but I'm not interested in a casual fling...at least not with him, so no reason to go any further.Match.com...
Starting emailing back and forth with what seems to be a really nice guy. 34, 6'2", likes dogs, etc. etc. I show my friends his pic and I have their approval. Furthermore I find out we have 1 degree of separation (small world!)
As I said before I'm not liking the showcasing of my availability on Match...too many winks, too many emails, too many not-matches. I'm thinking of closing my account soon.
Mr. "No Relationship"
He has a gig one night a week at this bar, at this gig the other girl he's dating goes and hangs out. He calls me at 2:30am this week to see if he can crash at my place as he's leaving his gig...he wants to cuddle, he says. In my head I'm thinking this guy must be mad...but then again this is behavior that I've taught him is okay, tsk tsk. I can only shake my head at the monster that I've created and hang my head in shame that I've allowed someone to treat my like sloppy seconds. Well it ends here. I didn't answer the phone.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Does the time determine booty call or a genuine date?
There is something cathartic about blogging. I've tried writing blogs before but it never stuck, I guess it's the topic of this blog that makes it so freeing. I'm (hopefully) anonymous, yet all the details of my (love) life are on display. It forces me to be more honest with myself than I think I've ever been.
So as if by magic the day after "Mr. No Relationship" and I had 'the-talk' guess who texts me! Yes the old friend :). Well it was late-ish, around 10pm and I should not have indulged, but wanting to feel wanted and sexy I go along. Here's a transcript...
OF (Old Friend) -
Hey long time...whatya doin?
Me -
Just leaving a friend's house, going home...nada. U?
OF -
Nuttin
OF -
Wanna go for a drink?
ME (Simultaneously) -
Wanna do something?
OF -
Pick you up in a bit
And like that I'm back in the game baby!
Oh I also opened that Match account - why waste time? I really don't think it's my thing, with all these people 'winking' and emailing and viewing your profile. But I said I'll give it a go and I must admit to having winked at few prospects, ha.
More about the date with OF next post...
So as if by magic the day after "Mr. No Relationship" and I had 'the-talk' guess who texts me! Yes the old friend :). Well it was late-ish, around 10pm and I should not have indulged, but wanting to feel wanted and sexy I go along. Here's a transcript...
OF (Old Friend) -
Hey long time...whatya doin?
Me -
Just leaving a friend's house, going home...nada. U?
OF -
Nuttin
OF -
Wanna go for a drink?
ME (Simultaneously) -
Wanna do something?
OF -
Pick you up in a bit
And like that I'm back in the game baby!
Oh I also opened that Match account - why waste time? I really don't think it's my thing, with all these people 'winking' and emailing and viewing your profile. But I said I'll give it a go and I must admit to having winked at few prospects, ha.
More about the date with OF next post...
Monday, April 19, 2010
That old friend...
So while dating my latest guy, I bumped into an old friend who I've known to always have a bit of interest in me. Turns out he recently broke up with his long time girlfriend.
Needless to say a short back and forth texting began; I didn't indulge him much because as I said I was really into my current guy and didn't want to stir the pot. However, now that it's been made clear that my latest love does not want to be in a relationship and we've agreed to see other people, I'm definitely going to see what my old friend is up to...
There's a twist. I'm hesitant on dating this guy for 2 reasons:
1. He dated my best friend, is this a definite don't? It was a casual thing, but it's still a bit weird!
2. I was friendly (not friends with) his ex. I attended parties at their home and this makes me feel uncomfortable.
I'm wondering though, it's only a date...what's the harm. If nothing else, we'll get over that bit of tension that's always hung between us, and I'll have a fun night out to take my mind off of Mr. No Relationship.
I anticipate a date soon. In the meantime I'm going to create a profile on Match.com to speed things along...hey I've got resources at my fingertips, so why not use it!
Needless to say a short back and forth texting began; I didn't indulge him much because as I said I was really into my current guy and didn't want to stir the pot. However, now that it's been made clear that my latest love does not want to be in a relationship and we've agreed to see other people, I'm definitely going to see what my old friend is up to...
There's a twist. I'm hesitant on dating this guy for 2 reasons:
1. He dated my best friend, is this a definite don't? It was a casual thing, but it's still a bit weird!
2. I was friendly (not friends with) his ex. I attended parties at their home and this makes me feel uncomfortable.
I'm wondering though, it's only a date...what's the harm. If nothing else, we'll get over that bit of tension that's always hung between us, and I'll have a fun night out to take my mind off of Mr. No Relationship.
I anticipate a date soon. In the meantime I'm going to create a profile on Match.com to speed things along...hey I've got resources at my fingertips, so why not use it!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Fast forward to present...
I'm saying this in the most modest way possible, but I've always been told how beautiful I am, however you would be surprised at the kind of duds that I attract.
It's about 6 months since my break up and despite all this beauty I possess I've only been out with a couple guys not lasting past 1 date. All in all, nothing noteworthy. One night hanging out with friends at a local hot spot I spy one of the most attractive men I've ever seen at the bar. I practice my flirting techniques, make eye contact - look coyly away...I notice him looking at me, and we catch each other's gaze a few times...but nothing!
I've never approached a man in my life, but fortified with some liquid courage I approach and recite my rehearsed 'line'. It worked! We hit it off and now 10 months later we're still dating, but... this new 'relationship' has been full of drama.
He first broached the 'relationship' topic early in the dating game, this came at a time that I was not ready and I gave the most inappropriate reply which set the tone and changed his attitude towards the rest of our relationship. Now that I've broached the 'relationship' topic he no longer wants to be in one, instead he's now no longer in the serious relationship frame of mind.
I've once again fallen 'in love' and I've completely messed up this relationship by acting a little psycho...I wonder what is it about me that I cling to and 'love' all these people?? Am I full of shit? Am I mis-labeling my feelings? Or do I so badly want to be with someone that I fall in love with everyone?
So now we're at present, I've started dating again...stories of these dates in blogs to come!
It's about 6 months since my break up and despite all this beauty I possess I've only been out with a couple guys not lasting past 1 date. All in all, nothing noteworthy. One night hanging out with friends at a local hot spot I spy one of the most attractive men I've ever seen at the bar. I practice my flirting techniques, make eye contact - look coyly away...I notice him looking at me, and we catch each other's gaze a few times...but nothing!
I've never approached a man in my life, but fortified with some liquid courage I approach and recite my rehearsed 'line'. It worked! We hit it off and now 10 months later we're still dating, but... this new 'relationship' has been full of drama.
He first broached the 'relationship' topic early in the dating game, this came at a time that I was not ready and I gave the most inappropriate reply which set the tone and changed his attitude towards the rest of our relationship. Now that I've broached the 'relationship' topic he no longer wants to be in one, instead he's now no longer in the serious relationship frame of mind.
I've once again fallen 'in love' and I've completely messed up this relationship by acting a little psycho...I wonder what is it about me that I cling to and 'love' all these people?? Am I full of shit? Am I mis-labeling my feelings? Or do I so badly want to be with someone that I fall in love with everyone?
So now we're at present, I've started dating again...stories of these dates in blogs to come!
How singledom came to be...
It has recently been suggested to me that my life is heading down the wrong path, this was in direct assault of the love/ relationship aspect of my life. Of course I became very defensive and began to defend my past failed relationships and my oh-so-wrong choices to date. But following the confrontation I took the time to reflect and realized that I must come to terms with my love demons.
"I am a monoga-drone"
At 16 I was involved in my 'first-love' relationship. It lasted one year and of course I was certain that I was in love and could not live without this person in my life...this way of thinking has pretty much formed a pattern for the rest of my relationships.
At 18 I was involved in my second 'serious' relationship which lasted 4 years. Too long. I learned life lessons on what NOT to accept in a partner from this relationship.
At 22 I was involved in yet another 4 year relationship. For 4 years I was with a person who I once again loved, but who I wanted to change from the person he was to the person I wanted him to be.
Ages 27-29 yet another love of my life. This time I was dumped...my first heartbreak. My first recovery from heartbreak.
I'm now in my longest stretch of singledom since the age of 16, but... "I don't think I'm doing it right".
"I am a monoga-drone"
At 16 I was involved in my 'first-love' relationship. It lasted one year and of course I was certain that I was in love and could not live without this person in my life...this way of thinking has pretty much formed a pattern for the rest of my relationships.
At 18 I was involved in my second 'serious' relationship which lasted 4 years. Too long. I learned life lessons on what NOT to accept in a partner from this relationship.
At 22 I was involved in yet another 4 year relationship. For 4 years I was with a person who I once again loved, but who I wanted to change from the person he was to the person I wanted him to be.
Ages 27-29 yet another love of my life. This time I was dumped...my first heartbreak. My first recovery from heartbreak.
I'm now in my longest stretch of singledom since the age of 16, but... "I don't think I'm doing it right".
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